


if we can make it through december

by familysdisappointment



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Santa Claus, Christmas Party, Established Zayn Malik/Liam Payne, Family Secrets, Light Angst, Long Lost/Secret Relatives, M/M, Mild Smut, One Night Stands, Snowed In, i don't know if i'm using light and mild correctly so pardon me, oh no they were, side Ziam, they are light and mild according to my own criteria
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:28:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21662956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/familysdisappointment/pseuds/familysdisappointment
Summary: Louis runs into his ex at a holiday party, who talks loudly about Louis being single to embarrass him. Harry saves the day by kissing Louis’s cheek and pretending to be his significant other even though Louis has never met him before...or has he?
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Zayn Malik/Liam Payne
Comments: 23
Kudos: 390
Collections: 1D Christmas Fest





	if we can make it through december

**Author's Note:**

> hello.  
> I'd like to thank:  
> the mods for being so nice about me needing an extension due to academic reasons.  
> the person behind prompt sixty. I was really excited to make it come to life and I hope they like what came out of it.  
> the writing gc, but especially [Eliot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/graceling_in_a_suit) because we were like "what if this happened ha ha just kidding... unless 👀"  
> and [Jess](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ziamhaze/pseuds/ziamhaze), obviously, because she is always there to send me thirty-minute voice notes about role play.
> 
> This was really fun to write so I'm a bit sad I was too busy with school and couldn't make it longer.

Louis walks into Liam and Zayn’s new apartment and the smell of ginger cookies hits him first. Michael Bublé and Shania Twain’s version of White Christmas plays softly in the background and fairy lights are all over the walls. A beautifully decorated Christmas tree stands proudly on the farthest corner of the sitting room and a table full of food is next to it surrounded by people wearing ugly Christmas sweaters, all friends of Liam and Zayn, some of them probably even friends of Louis himself.

Louis wishes he had stayed in. Thing is, he might have been avoiding his friends for a while now. 

It’s not that Louis doesn’t like his friends anymore or that he doesn’t like to spend time with them. It’s just that Louis and Jesse ended their relationship three months ago and being near the newlyweds, Liam and Zayn, makes Louis feel jealous. Jealous because they have everything Louis has ever wanted, sad because he feels he might never get it, guilty because he feels he ruined everything for himself and like a piece of shit for not being able to rejoice in his friends’ happiness.

Less than a month ago, he said he would attend the Halloween party Niall threw, he even planned his costume and bought the accessories he needed for it only to decide he didn’t really want to go an hour before the party.

**You’re not coming, are you?** texted Niall three hours later.

**No.**

**The worst part is I knew this already.**

Honestly, Louis should’ve gone to the Halloween party just so he didn’t have to attend this one. He doesn’t  _ despise  _ Christmas but it has always been more about work for Louis’ family than it has been about the gathering, the presents, the love or the everything really. 

With Christmas being this close, things back home are surely getting wild and his father will probably send someone to get him there sooner than later. They have let him do as he wishes and forgiven him off of the planning months because of his accident but the real action is starting soon and his father won’t let him out of it. Especially because Louis can already spot some gray hairs in his reflection. This is probably the last Christmas gathering he will ever attend so he might as well try to enjoy it.

He’s still standing by the door when Niall comes out of nowhere.

“Tommo!” Niall almost runs to hug him. He is wearing a Santa Claus print shirt and Louis just rolls his eyes.

“I thought the theme was ugly sweaters, not ugly shirts,” Louis half-jokes.

“Oi,” Niall puts a hand over his chest in fake hurt. “It’s called fashion, baby. Look it up.”

They share a smile and Niall walks him into the sitting room. Niall sits next to a dark-haired lady and puts a hand on her thigh. “I’ve been meaning to tell you. Do you remember Emily?”

Louis is still standing as he and Emily make eye contact and give each other a polite smile.

“From the bank downtown, right?” Louis is glad he can actually answer this. Niall has been crushing on her after opening an account there.

“We are dating now!” Niall all but jumps where he is sitting.

And here comes the guilt trip.

“Oh! that’s great,” Louis manages to say with a grin so big he probably looks crazy. “Um, I should probably go say hi to our hosts.”

If Niall wanted to say anything else, he couldn’t. Louis is on his way to the kitchen so fast you might have thought they were gifting brand new cars there. He really needs to pull his head out of his ass and show real, kind, and selfless support to his friends. In his rush, he hits his shoulder against someone else’s.

Louis turns to apologize but the stranger is faster. “Sorry,” the tall man with a deep voice says.

They lock eyes for a second before Louis replies  _ sorry _ too and turns to the kitchen again.

“Why did you invite him?” Liam is angry whispering.

“ _ Because _ Harry is still our friend and, honestly, you know he won’t even sho-”

“Louis!” Liam cuts Zayn short and walks towards Louis with panicked eyes. “How good, you’re here,” he turns to give Zayn, who looks like he’s seen a ghost, a hard glare.

“You don’t sound so pleased,” Louis frowns. Maybe his friends have had enough of him avoiding them. “Should I leave?”

“Don’t be silly,” Zayn walks towards him and gives him a one-arm hug. “Come, let's have a glass. We baked tons of cookies. Have you tried Liam’s pasta yet?”

🎅🏻

After eating and drinking to his heart desire, Louis is a little bit tipsy and trying to make sense of one of the paintings in the hallway. Zayn is a very talented artist and Louis thinks he should tell his friend so more often, maybe even buy some art of his. Louis might look all intellectual like this, staring at the painting and trying to understand it, wine glass in hand. That, until he remembers he is wearing an ugly Christmas sweater. He giggles to himself.

“Louis?” He freezes, eyes still on the painting. He had forgotten Jesse is, somehow, still friends with Liam. They hadn’t seen each other since the breakup and Louis is certainly not happy it didn’t stay that way. He slowly turns to face him.

“‘ello” he says before he starts to walk in an attempt to leave Jesse behind, heading towards the sitting room again. Maybe he knows someone else here.

There is something funny about deciding to end your relationship with someone and dislike them as much as if they had broken up with you. It was probably the way Jesse reacted when Louis told him they should take a break and maybe see other people. He didn’t really agree with Louis. To say it nicely.

“You look like shit,” says Jesse a little too loudly. Some of the people closest to them look their way in shock, probably finding it rude. Louis is just used to it by now. He is not one to hold his tongue but he just doesn't care about Jesse anymore, not even enough to talk back so he just keeps on walking. Jesse takes a hold of Louis' bicep.

“What's the hurry,  _ boo _ ?”

Okay, Louis takes it back, he is definitely not gonna shut up now. He turns around to face the asshole and rises his chin a bit. “Don’t call me that.”

“What? Don’t your friends know you’re mommy’s little boy?” Jesse says with a pout. “Oh, wait,” Jesse puts fake concern in his voice. “Don’t  _ you  _ know?”

“You know damn well we all know, idiot,” Louis’ voice might be louder now. “You just don’t get to repeat my mother’s words with your filthy mouth.”

“You seemed to enjoy this filthy mouth for months, though.”

Louis wants to punch the smirk out of his face. “Newsflash, I didn’t. That’s why I broke up with you.”

“Did me a big favor, didn’t you?” Jesse pops a hip and looks at his nails. “Got myself a proper boyfriend now, someone who isn’t as needy as you. Actually,” he smiles at Louis, “we are engaged.” Jesse shows Louis that, indeed, there is a ring on his finger. “Who do you have, Louis? Your dog? You’re a lonely bastard and you will always be. No one wants your damaged ass.”

He’s got Louis silent. That is pretty much what he told Louis the day they broke up but he didn’t know Jesse has a boyfriend, much less a fiancé. It’s only been three months since they ended things. He looks around, searching for an escape route, some people look away and others seem oblivious to Louis’ humiliation. That’s when he feels a hand on his lower back, followed by a kiss on his cheek.

“Sorry it took me so long, honey,” the tall stranger he collided with earlier says. Louis just stares. “Zayn stopped me to ask if your sister is stopping by tonight. I told him I don’t know,” the man looks between Louis and Jesse, with a confused frown. And well, that makes two of them. When Louis looks at Jesse he finds that, in fact, that makes three of them.

“And you are...?” asks Jesse with a disgusted face, ever the charmer.

“I’m Harry,” he moves his hand away from Louis' back and extends it to Jesse. “Louis’ boyfriend.”

Oh.

_ Oh. _

“Yeah,” Louis gains his voice back. “Yeah! Jesse, this is Harry. My boyfriend. Harry, this is Jesse.”

Jesse looks between them, Harry still has his hand extended.

“Whatever.” Jesse leaves, completely ignoring Harry’s hand. Seriously, why did Louis ever date him? Must have been the green eyes. Louis sighs.

“Hey, thank you for that,” Louis says. This kind stranger just stopped Louis from starting a fistfight in the middle of his friends' housewarming slash Christmas party.

“No worries,” Harry extends the plate full of cookies that he's been holding to Louis. “Do you want one? These are the last ones without almonds on them.”

Louis raises his eyebrows and reaches for a cookie. “Yeah, thank you. I’m allergic to almonds.”

Louis bites the cookie and looks at Harry. He seems nervous but smiles at Louis anyway. He has curly hair, green eyes, and a dimple. He is also wearing what’s probably the ugliest sweater in this ugly sweater party. It is literally just a regular dark sweater with a literal Christmas wreath hanging off the collar. It has a little Santa in the middle.

Louis wonders why he has never seen him before, maybe he is one of Liam’s new coworkers.

Speaking of, Louis catches Liam watching him from afar. He looks more like the Grinch than the Santa Claus The Jackson 5 is singing about in the background. Probably a bit more like the Santa Claus Louis knows. He should apologize for the little scene he just caused, Liam is still Jesse’s friend and he’s most likely regretting ever setting them up.

He is just about to repeat his gratitude to Harry, who is mindlessly watching the small crowd while eating a cookie, and leave him to it but Jesse is still eyeing them from where he is sitting. There is no leaving Harry now, Louis needs to keep the pretense of a loving relationship with him tonight.

“Um, Harry?”

“Yeah?” Harry looks at him. 

Louis sighs. God, he is so pathetic. “You can totally say no to this and I’m sorry I even have the nerve to ask but that was my ex right there and you’d do me a big favor if you just let me be around you? tonight? I mean, I guess you might be okay with it since you just helped me but yeah if you don’t want to you don’t have to.”

Louis can feel his face hot red, he is looking everywhere else but Harry. This is so humiliating.

“Okay,” Harry says, giving Louis a dimpled smile. “Should we go find a place to sit?”

🎅🏻

By the time it’s just Liam, Zayn, Niall, Harry and Louis passing around the last bottle of wine, Louis is on the right side of drunk. He might or might have not become a little too comfortable invading Harry’s personal space. Their fake relationship only lasted about an hour, due to Jesse leaving early, but Louis stayed glued to Harry for the rest of the evening. He didn’t even have to play a character. Louis found out, a couple of minutes into their “relationship”, that Harry is really funny and delightful to be around.

Right now, Harry’s shoulder looks comfy so Louis goes for it and rests his head on it. He closes his eyes a bit. This is nice, really nice. Harry puts an arm over his shoulders and Louis didn’t know he was this touch starved until now that someone is touching him. Louis moves his head a bit and his nose touches Harry’s neck. He can blame it on the alcohol, even when he knows he is not that drunk and in complete command of his actions. 

“I think we should head out,” says Niall suddenly, making Louis jump away from Harry, he had forgotten they aren’t alone for a moment.

“Yeah, I think that’s a good idea.” Liam hurries to add.

“Okay, okay,” Louis stands up. “I get it, you naughty husbands. We’ll leave so you can do each other. Let me just use the loo first, yeah?”

Louis doesn’t wait for an answer and leaves to his business. When he comes out of the bathroom Harry is there and they just smile at each other as Harry takes his turn. Louis waits for him outside, just because. He can hear Liam, Zayn, and Niall arguing again. Louis wonders if he should be worried about his friends’ marriage when Harry comes out.

“Hi,” Harry says as he leans against the wall, next to Louis.

“Hi.”

They stay in silence for a bit.

“You know,” Louis starts. “I helped them pick this place. They love each other so much they wouldn’t tell the other when they didn’t like something in a place the other loved. So, of course, I had to step in. Zayn really liked-”

With a fast move, Harry is off the wall and his face is close to Louis’, arms caging him. Louis feels his heartbeat quicken. He looks into Harry’s eyes but when they flicker to Louis’ lips, he can’t help but look at Harry’s.

“Stop me,” Harry says before licking his lips.

There are a bunch of things Louis wants to do right now and stopping Harry from kissing him is not one of them but Harry isn’t moving so Louis takes matters into his own hands.

He kisses Harry.

His hands go for Harry’s waist and Harry’s go to cup Louis’ face. Harry’s lips are so soft and as they deepen the kiss Louis can’t help but to open his eyes. Harry is frowning, kissing Louis as if he is going to break if he kisses him too hard, thumbs caressing Louis’ cheeks. Louis closes his eyes again, letting himself get lost in the kiss but almost immediately, Harry breaks it. Their foreheads are still touching and Louis keeps his eyes closed.

“Liam could walk in any minute,” Harry says against Louis’ lips.

“And?” Louis resumes their kissing except Harry stops again.

“They could see us.”

“I really, really , don't care.”

But Harry lets go of him anyway and presses his back to the wall again. They just breathe heavily next to each other. Louis misses Harry’s lips on his already. Harry might have a sixth sense or something though because Niall walks into the hallway a few seconds later.

“Ready to go, lads?”

🎅🏻

When they step outside, it's snowing. Louis regrets not bringing a coat more than anything he remembers ever regretting in his life. His ugly sweater is not really warm and to be honest it kind of itches.

“I'm not taking the tube, it's fucking freezing.” He fetches his phone from his jeans and opens the uber app.

“Have it your way. I’m just two stations away and not spending money on a short drive.” Niall shrugs in his big ass coat. Louis hates him.

“Yeah, yeah, bye.” Louis just ignores them while he says goodbye to Harry. Of course, the uber ride costs twice its normal price with the snow. Louis feels rather than sees Harry lean in to take a look at his screen.

“Hey,” he says. “We live close to each other. How about we share one to my flat, split the cost and then you uber to yours from there. Has to be cheaper, yeah?”

Louis could say yes to anything with this cold and apparently Harry is a dumbass too because he isn't wearing a coat either. They wait for their car for three minutes that feel like fifteen but once inside the car Louis lets himself relax in the heat. He puts his head on Harry's shoulder again. Louis finds he is actually really comfortable there, could he pass this as drunk behavior even though the cold sobered him up? He doesn't really care, they kissed already. He noses Harry's neck again and closes his eyes. He feels one of Harry's hands on his thigh and the other one is on his neck. As Harry moves his hand from his neck to his cheek, Louis feels pressure inside his chest, nervous pressure, the good pressure. Louis is trying real hard to keep his breathing even but then Harry is caressing his lips with his thumb and Louis loses it. He moves to kiss Harry's neck. Not over the top kissing, just barely there kisses, gentle presses of his lips against Harry’s skin.

It is all too sensual for Louis, and given that he’s leaving town soon to work inhumane hours, he really needs a plan to have at least a very heavy make-out session with Harry. Louis is still trying to come up with something when the driver stops in front of a four-story building. They thank her and run to cover from the now heavier snow under the glass canopy of Harry’s building. Louis makes a show of looking for his cell phone in his jeans pockets when he is actually heightening the pros and cons of using his little Christmas tricks on Harry. With his phone on his hand and Harry talking about the weather, Louis decides he really doesn’t wanna go home right now. He looks up and smiles to himself.

“Oh,” he fakes surprise.

Harry follows his gaze and laughs when he spots the mistletoe hanging over them. “I certainly don’t remember that being there when I left earlier today.”

Fuck, Harry was an observative one. Louis was cautious, though. Years of experience.

“Yet, must have been there for a while,” argues Louis. “See, there’s just one berry left.” They look at each other and Louis can tell Harry is holding back a smile. Louis has already won. “I don’t know about you, Harold,” he continues. “But I’m not willing to risk bad luck for the holidays.”

Is Louis a hoe for taking a step closer to Harry? Probably. Sue him.

The smile Harry had been trying to tame is in full display now. He cups Louis cheek with one hand and slowly leans in. When their lips finally reunite it feels like a bolt running under Louis’ skin. 

They deepen the kiss and Louis prays to whoever is listening that Harry gives in and invites him inside. His prayers are answered when Harry stops their kissing to tell him he has a half-full bottle of wine that he is willing to share with Louis.

Harry’s flat is on the second floor and they laugh all the way up, Louis can’t recall what was so funny but they keep going until Harry opens his door and they both step inside. After taking off his shoes, Louis follows Harry to the little kitchen.

“I’ve been trying out different wines,” Harry says as he puts a bottle of wine on the counter. “This one isn’t that great, but I guess it’ll do.”

Louis has no idea what kind of horny demon has possessed him but before Harry even gets the wine glasses out, Louis is kissing him again. Not that the curly-haired man is putting much resistance to it, either.

Louis feels his back hit a wall and he has no idea how he ended there. Harry is kissing him wet and deep. Louis has his hands in Harry’s hair, pushing him closer. They kiss like that for a while and then Harry moves his hands from Louis’ waist to his ass and pushes a thigh between Louis’ legs, giving him friction where he needs it the most. Louis moans and arches to be closer to Harry, that’s when Harry’s ugly sweater starts HO HO HOing.

Sweet lord.

Harry laughs and moves back to take the Christmas wreath off his sweater. Louis wastes no time and goes back to business. Harry isn’t left behind and he makes his way to Louis’ neck, kissing and biting softly. They rearrange themselves to their previous position and Louis loves it, loves the heat in his tummy, loves being pressed against the wall, loves Harry’s hands all over his ass and the thigh pressing on his cock. He wants to give just as good, so he moves one of his hands from Harry’s hair and goes to palm Harry through his jeans. 

Harry separates his face from Louis’ neck and puts one of his hands over Louis’, pushing his hips towards them. He moans looking at Louis straight in the eyes. His lips are red and wet, it is the sexiest thing Louis has ever seen.

Harry takes Louis’ hand from his front and starts walking towards what Louis can only assume is his bedroom. He throws a questioning look at Louis as if Louis would say no to whatever Harry wants. Louis can tell Harry has something to say but by the time they reach the bedroom he kisses Louis again instead.

When they make it to the edge of the mattress Louis can’t help the urge and he pushes Harry slightly, making him fall on the bed. He is a vision.

Louis goes in for another kiss, laying beside Harry. Louis’ hand slips underneath Harry’s ugly sweater and massages his abdomen. He throws a leg over Harry’s and moves his hand from his tummy to his torso. Harry takes it as a request to take his sweater and t-shirt off. Louis follows and they resume their kissing. There are all kind of feelings inside Louis, he wants to keep it slow and savor every moment but he also wants it to be fast, hard and dirty. He doesn’t really know what Harry is willing to give him but he will take anything.

Louis doesn't know why but he feels a sudden desire to put his hand around Harry's neck, he had never wanted to do so with past partners and before he can really think through, his hand moves to squeeze Harry’s neck a bit. He’s pleasantly surprised when Harry moans over Louis' lips and his hips buck up. 

Harry lets out a breath. “Please.”

And, Jesus, the way Harry says it has Louis moving to kiss Harry’s chest, making his way down, hand pressing the front of Harry’s jeans.

Louis doesn’t even take Harry’s jeans and boxers completely off, he ain’t got time for that. He leaves them halfway through Harry’s thighs and takes his dick in his hand, Louis can’t wait to have it in his mouth so he licks his lips and chances a glance to Harry, who is resting on his elbows, watching Louis so intensely that he can’t look away as he puts Harry’s dick in his mouth. The intensity of it all has Louis curling his toes. He sucks and Harry throws his head back.

Louis goes for it like it’s his job, he has one hand working on what his mouth can’t and another one pinching one Harry’s nipples. All too soon, Harry pulls Louis’ hair to make him stop. “Come here.”

They kiss and Harry turns them around so now he’s on top of Louis, kissing and biting his neck again. Louis is so very pleased with Harry’s obsession with his neck. He unbuttons Louis’ jeans and slides his hand under his underwear. Louis almost sees stars as his cock receives the attention it has been begging for.

Harry stands up and takes off Louis' jeans and underwear as well as his own then goes back next to Louis, looks at him in the eye and licks his hand before starting to jerk Louis off.

Eye contact shouldn’t be this hot to Louis but the depth behind Harry’s eyes is intoxicating. Harry’s kisses are hungry but careful and Louis is almost coming when Harry stops and goes to play with Louis’ testicles, finger ghosting over his hole asking for permission. It’s been a while since Louis bottomed but his hips have a mind of their own and he is pressing against Harry’s fingertip. Harry goes to get the lube and Louis is so turned on that even the sight of Harry taking off multiple rings and wetting his fingers make him moan.

By the time Harry has three fingers in, Louis doesn’t even know his name anymore.

“Do you have a condom?” Louis' voice is rough.

“No,” Harry’s fingers stop inside of Louis and he is incredibly aware of that now.

They both sigh and after a beat Louis shrugs. “We can still have fun like this,” he kisses Harry again.

It takes a while for them to get into it again but as soon as Harry puts his mouth on Louis dick, with three fingers still thrusting into him, Louis comes with nothing more than a hair pull as a warning.

After Louis gathers himself, he turns them around and kisses Harry, tasting himself in his mouth. He squeezes Harry’s neck slightly again, since it seemed to work before, and goes to suck on his nipples. One of Louis’ thighs is between Harry’s and Harry is grinding against it. Louis applies a bit more of pressure on Harry’s neck as he bites one of his nipples, then Harry is coming all over Louis' thigh.

Harry is laying boneless when Louis gets up from bed, takes tissue from Harry's nightstand to clean himself. He cleans Harry, throws the tissue away and starts looking around for his clothes.

“What are you doing?” Harry turns his head a bit to look in the general direction of Louis.

“Um,” Louis has his ugly sweater in hand. “Leaving?”

“Wait," his voice is heavy and slow. "Come lay for a moment.”

Louis looks at Harry with a questioning look but Harry has his eyes closed. Louis looks at his Christmas sweater and sighs, a couple of minutes won’t hurt. Louis lets his sweater hit the ground, Harry is still naked so he guesses it’s okay if he stays like that too.

He settles himself on the bed, being very careful not to touch Harry’s skin in any way. Louis is a little bit too cuddly after sex and he doesn't want to scare off Harry. He really hopes they meet again.

He turns his head to look at Harry only to find him looking back. If Louis didn’t know better he’d say Harry is a bit sad. 

🎅🏻

When Louis wakes up he finds himself under heavy covers, hugging a still sleeping Harry. His cheek is pressed against Harry’s naked torso and Louis should be freaking out. Not only did he sleepover and had Harry sort him in bed while he was sleeping, but he somehow ended all over him. He doesn’t move though, he just rearranges himself to be more comfortable and throws a leg over one of Harry’s. It feels quite familiar, being like this. The smell of Harry is addictive, a combination between his fabric softener, dried sweat and a hint of cherry coming from somewhere. It’s one of those times a certain smell would take Louis back to a place he can’t reach, a place lost in his brain somewhere. He’s learned that it doesn’t matter how hard he tries, he will never remember where the smell is familiar from.

He ventures a look at Harry, the room is still dark but he can make the lines of his cheekbones, his jaw, and his nose. Louis wants to touch his face so badly but he is afraid of waking him up. He knows this will end the moment Harry wakes up and a part of Louis really missed being this close to someone, especially when the someone is as pretty as Harry.

🎅🏻

“There’s a blizzard going on outside”

Louis has had his eyes open for ten seconds when Harry steps into the room with two mugs. He doesn’t know what to answer to that, his brain is still sleeping. Louis blinks slowly and stares at the window. True to Harry’s word, the sky is falling down in the form of snow. Louis could do something about it but for now, he just accepts the tea Harry is offering him. It is just as he likes to drink it and Louis feels like he just hit the jackpot. Harry is way too good to be true and this morning could make or destroy his chances with him.

They smile at each other and Harry climbs back to bed. He is wearing sweats and a hoodie, which makes Louis remember he is still naked under the covers.

“In the news, they said the blizzard will last up to eleven hours,” Harry continues with his weather talk. “You’re free to stay, of course. I don’t think it’s all that safe to go out with the snow falling as it is.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

“Do you, umm,” starts Harry and his cheeks turn pink. “Do you want to borrow some clothes?”

“That’d be great,” Louis puts his mug on the bedside table. “Thank you, again.”

“No problem.”

Harry lends Louis a pair of sweats that are a bit too long for him and a sweater before he steps out of the room to let Louis dress as if he hadn’t already seen all of him the night prior. Louis checks his phone out of habit and finds four missed calls from home. He’ll deal with that later, the thought of leaving Harry right now is not appealing at all. When he finally steps out, Harry is pouring milk in a bowl of cereal. 

It should be awkward, considering they were all over each other the night before, but it isn’t. They sit on Harry’s couch each with a blanket, watch a couple of Christmas movies and talk about life. Louis can tell Harry is holding back and trying not to share too much with him, he guesses it’s normal since they’ve only known each other for less than 24 hours. Still, he learns about Harry’s family members and that he’d been in Japan for about a year trying to get away from something. He didn’t say it like that but Louis isn’t stupid, he can perceive that there is more to the story. Louis tells him about his siblings and the latest documentary he watched in return, it’s been a while since Louis felt this absorbed by someone.

He doesn’t know when he fell asleep again but when he wakes up a different movie is playing. Harry is not even watching it, he is tapping on his phone screen and Louis takes advantage of this to openly stare at him. He is so pretty and the little Louis has gotten to know about him this far only makes him more fascinating. His weird study of Harry’s face ends when he blocks his phone and Louis is forced to look somewhere else. 

That’s when Louis notices a sad-looking, undecorated, pine tree on the farthest corner of the sitting room.

“Harry, is that your Christmas tree?”

“Uh,” Harry looks around as if he has no idea where this lone tree could be standing. “Yeah, that’s it.”

“Why is it naked?” Louis’ high pinched and offended tone makes Harry laugh.

“Haven’t gotten around to decorating it yet, I guess”

“Harry,” Louis makes a dramatic pause. “Christmas is next week.”

“I know, I just umm…” the movie is still playing in the background. Louis has no idea what it is about and he doesn’t know if Harry got distracted with it or is just thinking while looking at the screen. “Something happened to me last year and I’m not really into Christmas anymore.”

“You bought the tree, though.” Louis knows he is just being annoying now. “I can help you decorate it if you want. I mean, you have it here already and it would be just a waste of money if you don’t decorate it and put some presents under it. I’m sure your mom has some presents for you.” Louis pokes Harry’s thigh with his big toe. “Also, if you’ve been a good boy I’m sure Santa will bring you something nice.”

Harry doesn’t say anything but he doesn’t look annoyed so Louis keeps going. He has Christmas in his veins, you can’t really blame him for wanting to put up Christmas decorations. “We’ll be here for at least another 4 hours so I think this is just meant to happen, honestly. I’m the best at Christmas decor, a natural some would say.”

Louis tries to tell himself he isn’t shaken by the fact Harry only seems to sadden by all this. He needs to shut up straightaway. Now that Louis thinks about it, Harry didn’t mention a father when they talked family, maybe he lost his dad during the holidays and that’s why he is so sad. Perfect. Louis is making Harry remember sad times, damn his Christmas blood. Honestly, Louis should just make the blizzard sto-

“Okay.”

“What?”

“We can decorate the tree,” Harry removes his blanket from his lap and stands up. “I know I have ornaments, lights and stuff in a box somewhere.”

Louis can’t help the smile on his face when he stands up to follow Harry in search of his Christmas stuff.

The sight of Harry’s unmade bed makes Louis blush. For a moment he had forgotten how he ended up spending his day with Harry. The pictures of the night before are making their way into Louis' head as he stares at Harry’s back while he is trying to get boxes from the top of his closet. They are erased as soon as Harry hands him a box with a shy smile.

After fighting the string of Christmas lights and putting it on the tree they decide to eat something more consistent than cereal before continuing to decorate Harry’s tree. Louis sits on the floor, next to the box full of Harry’s ornaments. He has a cloth in hand and dusts the decorations before handing them over to Harry who puts them on the tree.

One of Louis abilities is to make the Christmas tree look exactly as he wants just by thinking of it but he can’t really do that with one that is not his so he just plays his Christmas playlist to add to their mood while Harry tells him how when he was young his sister would tell him they should put the Christmas tree together only to leave Harry to do it alone after the lights were untangled.

“Every year was the same and I would only remember that was something she did by the time I was alone dealing with the ornaments,” Harry shakes his head but has a smile on his face.

Louis laughs softly. “What did your mom say?”

“Oh, she wouldn’t take sides. She’d just tell me that I couldn’t be mad because I already knew what Gemma was like,” Harry rolls his eyes. “She was right but I would never tell her that, of course.”

“Of course,” Louis has a silly smile on his face and he knows it but it really is a little bit hard not to smile like this when he feels that little something in his chest. He doesn’t know how to describe it but as a nice pressure, making him nervous and happy about being with Harry. There is always something nice about developing a crush on someone, something that makes you feel like you could smile all day even when you know the longing will be just as hard.

All of this is running through Louis' mind as he watches Harry analyze where to put on the tree the little reindeer he has in hand. He smiles to himself and looks down at the ornament he’s been cleaning mindlessly. That’s when his smile disappears.

It is a clear plastic Christmas ball filled with some kind of synthetic stuff that pretends to be the snowed ground. There is a little wagon carrier inside and a white and red pole with a flag on it. Now, all this might seem perfectly normal but none of it matters to Louis, it is the names on the little flag that make Louis’ stomach feel like he is free falling.

_ Daisy + Phoebe. _

He turns the ball to see the other side of the flag.

_ North Pole _ .

Louis could throw up.

Are Daisy and Phoebe common names? Maybe. Is it frequent to find them together? Could be. Do Louis’ twin sisters put a plus instead of “and” when they write their names? Totally. Does the writing look more like one of an eleven-year-old instead of one of a fifteen-year-old? Yes, but that only adds to Louis' confusion.

“Louis?” Oh, right. He is still sitting on Harry’s floor. Harry looks confused by Louis' sudden silence, his eyes move from Louis’ face to his hands. Harry looks like he’s just seen a ghost and goes to take the ornament from Louis but Louis moves it behind his back. They look at each other, both on the floor now. “I can explain.”

If Louis had any hope this had nothing to do with his sisters he can kiss it goodbye now.

“Explain then,” Louis is just afraid at this point, he should have stopped the blizzard when this was just a one night stand.

Harry curses under his breath. “Okay, okay.” He doesn't say anything, though. Louis is sure he won’t speak at all when he blurts out "I know who your father is."

Louis just has to laugh. He doesn’t know if he is stress laughing or if he is just going insane. There is no way in hell Harry knows who Louis’ dad is but when he looks at Harry his laughter dies in his throat. Maybe there is a way in hell.

“I know Louis Tomlinson isn’t your real name,” Harry’s voice is so serious, so confident, there is no way he is just messing with Louis.

“I - I never told you my name,” never. Not last night, not today. Harry just appeared and said he was Louis’ boyfriend. Louis never told him his name, his full name, and much less his real name. Harry just shakes his head. “Who are you?”

“‘m Harry.” 

He says his name as if he hopes Louis would understand all of this just by the sound of it. Louis just crawls back until his back is pressing against the sofá, legs wrapped with his arms and ornament in hand. He has no physical reason to be afraid, Harry is just hopelessly on his knees and aside from trying to get the ornament he hasn’t really moved in Louis’ direction but it’s scary nonetheless.

“I’m Harry,” he sobs. Fuck, Louis can’t handle tears well. He wants to comfort the other man but he is so very afraid of everything as it is. Thankfully, Harry’s little breakdown seems to end as he composes himself and takes a deep breath. “I’m Harry Styles, we met seven years ago when you moved to the flat next door of my sister’s.”

Louis stays silent. During the last year, Louis has had multiple encounters with people he can’t remember. People lost in his brain after his accident. Never did someone claim to know who Louis’ dad is, not once did anyone say something about his real name.

“We,” Harry continues, he is looking at his hands while he plays with the rings on his fingers. “We were friends for about a year before you pulled that silly mistletoe trick on me.” Harry lets a sad chuckle out and Louis is just numb. His brain isn’t processing what’s happening, what Harry just said. “You kissed me on my doorstep and we were together ever since.”

Louis is not breathing anymore. “Did you know it was me last night? Did you know I put the mistletoe there?” Out of everything Harry just said this is somehow what Louis desperately wants to know.

“Yeah, of course I knew. The one berry left excuse is a classic.” Harry chances a glance at Louis and they share a small smile. There’s silence after that. Louis needs to let it all sink in. He isn’t afraid of it anymore, he just is confused now.

“Okay, I’ve got some questions, though,” he says and Harry nods. “What happened? Did we break up?”

“Two years ago,” Harry takes a deep breath. “We made plans to spend your birthday here and to go to my mum’s for Christmas. She was getting angsty we’d never spend Christmas with her, always with your family.” Louis’ heart picks up. “She didn’t know why, obviously, so we did it mostly to calm her down but you fell in love with it all, the gathering, the presents, the love, the everything about a mundane Christmas.”

Harry doesn’t say anything else, suddenly finding the hem of his hoodie much interesting. Louis is getting uneasy. “Did we break up, Harry?” He urges.

“Last year, around September, your father called. He needed you to go there and help with the planning, he said you couldn’t help from afar anymore, that you needed to get more involved with it all. You had a big fight about it.” Harry makes himself smaller. “You told him you didn’t want anything to do with the family business,” Louis can see Harry’s Adam’s apple bop and his cheeks redden. “You told him you wanted to start a family of your own.” If Louis hadn’t been listening so intensely he probably wouldn’t have be able to hear Harry say that last part. “He came down here then. You tried to convince him to give Lottie the title, she’s always been way more involved than you in it all and she likes it. He didn’t take it too well, told you that Santa Claus had to be a man.”

Louis gasps.

He’s said it.

Harry said who Louis’ father is without a hint of laughter or incredibility. Nothing makes sense, except it all does. Louis can feel the wetness on his cheeks but ignores it anyway, there’s still so much he needs to know “Where were you? When my accident happened, where were you?”

“Right there,” Louis is full-on sobbing now, how can this messed up life be his? “It wasn’t an accident, Louis.” Harry holds himself as if he’d break at any point. He is crying too and they are sitting so far away it pains Louis. “You were both screaming at each other, there was a snowstorm outside violent like nothing I’d ever seen. Your dad said something like how you used to be much more obedient and you said you weren’t the same that you were years ago. He said  _ oh but you will be _ next thing I know you’re on the floor and the storm has stopped. He told me to leave and of course, I refused but then he just took you and disappeared.”

“I tried to find you for months but finding Santa Claus is not exactly easy and no one knows about your father but Zayn and Liam, who knew nothing about how to get to the North Pole when you’re not a Claus. I- I left for Japan shortly after.”

This is so fucked up. Louis stares at the ornament again. “But you are here now. You were here last night.”

“Yeah, Zayn told me when you came back.” Harry is not crying anymore, he just sounds incredibly tired. “But he also told me the state you came back in. He told me you had some sort of amnesia. I knew what it was. I knew what he had done to you. So I promised myself I would do anything to stay away and avoid you any more trouble.”

“Zayn swore you wouldn’t be there last night so I went. Staying away from you was proving hard but the moment that dickhead started to bother you, it was impossible for me not to step in. Then we kissed and it was as if everything was back to normal. Of course, you had to make that stupid mistletoe move I so stupidly love and make it even harder for me to let you go. I’m really sorry things went that far between us when you didn’t know what I do.” Harry is blushing and out of breath by the time he ends his speech. Louis is torn between his range towards his dad, his confusion by it all and the need to comfort Harry somehow.

“You don’t have to be sorry, Harry.” Louis crawls towards Harry and stops in front of him, taking his hands. “You know that, as a Claus, I can control snowfall, right?” Harry nods. “Then you know that if I didn’t want to be here with you, I’d have stopped the blizzard long ago.” he squeezes Harry’s hands and Harry gives him a sheepish smile “I’m gonna solve this.”

🎅🏻

When Louis gets to the North Pole he finds total chaos. It is controlled chaos, though. Lottie is running around with a clipboard in hand and shouting to people. Louis smiles at the sight and goes to greet his sister.

"Well, well, well," she says when she spots him. "if it isn't the prodigal son."

"How's it going, Lots?"

There is shouting somewhere behind them, the fire alarm goes off for a second but then it stops. "Chill."

Louis raises his eyebrows. " Yeah, yeah, I definitely see that."

“I’d love to catch up but the kids in Mexico will wake up without presents if I don’t handle this,” she sighs and looks at her board. “Dad’s in his office. He’ll tell you what to do.”

Oh, right. Louis is here on business. He kisses his sister’s cheek and leaves her to work. After listening to everything Harry had to say, Louis made the snowfall stop and left. Everything felt like it wasn’t happening to him, like he was floating over water. He went home and checked Clifford’s slow feeder still had food and water. All he could think while walking him out was how he had been in a relationship with someone long enough to even think about starting a family, it was everything Louis ever wanted and he almost had it.

Almost. His father took it away from him. Louis knew it wouldn’t be wise to step into the North Pole to furiously shout at his father for what he did and demand him to give him his memories back. He stayed two days in bed with Clifford mopping away his frustrations before finally deciding on what he was going to do.

Louis steps into his father’s office without knocking and thank fuck he is alone. Louis is in a bit of a rush.

"Son,” he says looking up from his paperwork and taking his glasses off. “Took you long enough to come here and help.”

Louis casually sits in one of the chairs in front of the desk. “Oh I've been busy, you know," Louis passes his finger over the desk, whipping imaginary dust. "I don't have much free time these days. Between my mundane work, eating healthy, exercising, recovering from my accident... hanging out with Harry," Louis can see his dad still in his chair but recover himself and putting his glasses again to keep with he was working on when Louis arrived.

“Well, the important thing is you’re here now.” That’s not how Louis' imaginary script went. He needs to get it back to where he wants it.

“I won’t be staying, though,” his dad leaves the paperwork aside again. Yes. “I just came to say hi but I’m going back because Harry is throwing me a birthday party.”

“And who is this Harry character?” his dad’s left eye closes a little more than the right one and Louis just knows he is lying. Not that he thought what Harry told him wasn’t the truth, but his dad’s tick confirming it only fuels Louis.

“My boyfriend of six years, dad, who else?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

“Except you do,” Louis stands up and starts walking from side to side. “You know Christmas magic isn’t the most powerful magic there is, right?” This is Louis' moment, this is why his mundane work is as a drama teacher. “There’s black magic and fairy magic, of course… but the magic of love.” Louis shakes his head. “Incredible really.”

“I was walking down the street the other day when I spotted a man on the other side of the road waiting for the pedestrian light to turn green. Most beautiful man in the world. I didn’t even have to talk to him for it all to come back to me. Everything I lost in my accident . It came back. You don’t have to keep pretending you have no idea of what I’m talking about because I remember everything.”

His father stays silent, they keep eye contact of a moment but his dad breaks it to look behind Louis' head. It happens in a flicker of time and if Louis wasn't waiting for it he wouldn’t have noticed.

Bingo.

“So, I guess I just came here to tell you I’m very much done being a Claus.”

“Do you really think I’ll let you throw away centuries of tradition for a human?” His dad's voice is strong. “Do you really want to leave the kids of the world without a Santa for your selfish reasons?”

“See, that’s just not true,” Louis is incredibly chill and he pats himself in the back for it. “Lots is right outside handling it all like a pro.”

“Santa Claus is not a female, Louis. We’ve been over that a million times.”

“And we will go over it a million more if necessary!” So much for staying chill. Louis takes a deep breath. “Dad, you know that’s bullshit.”

“How do you think your sister will feel when the world keeps portraying Santa as a male? Don’t you think it will hurt her?” This took an unexpected turn but is a much better one that in Louis’ imaginary script where he’d have to use physical force. 

“That’s seriously all you’re worried about?” Louis sits again. “Dad, you’re a short and skinny man who can’t handle facial hair to save his life.” His dad chuckles. “Your name isn’t even Nicholas, for the love of God. I think Lottie’d hurt more if you don’t even give her the chance to prove what an incredible Santa she can be.”

His dad sighs. “Where did I go wrong?”

“Can I be honest?” Louis gives him a side smile. “Probably in stealing my memories.”

“Yeah, sorry about that.”

“So… can I take them?” Louis points behind him, where he knows his dad has a collection of crystal domes, one of those probably contains all of Louis’ memories of Harry.

“Yeah, of course,” Louis stands up again and looks at the shelf. “It’s the one with the bears in it.”

Of course it is. Louis takes it and wonders how this little piece of decor contains five years of his life. He holds it like the precious thing it is and turns around to look at his dad.

“I can’t believe you remembered it all just by looking at him.” His dad is resting his head on the big chair and has his eyes closed.

“Yeah, about that.”

🎅🏻

Louis made a quick escape from the North Pole. After he told his dad he doesn’t remember anything and made a run for his life while holding the glass dome close to his chest, he yelled over to Lottie to tell her not to forget his present. Now he is sitting on his couch, the glass dome is on the coffee table and he is staring at it as he has been for the last three days. It’s Christmas Eve and, also, his birthday. No one knows he is in his flat so he’s just received some happy birthday texts from friends and family. He feels uneasy, the thought of opening the dome scares him but it scares him more to keep on living like this. He can’t do it.

Before he can tell himself otherwise, Louis takes his coat and the dome. There is just one place it’d feel right to open it. It’s not until he is ringing Harry’s doorbell that the thought of Harry not being home, of him leaving to spend the holidays with his family, appears. He is on his way to panicking when a sleepy Harry opens the door.

“Hi,” Louis hugs his dome closer. “Sorry I didn’t call before coming, I don’t have your phone number.” Harry stays quiet, studying Louis’ face. “Are you busy right now?”

Harry shakes his head and moves aside to let Louis in. It is a bit awkward, considering everything that happened the last time. Harry’s tree lights are off and the little ornament with his twin sisters’ names is on the coffee table. Harry hasn’t said anything but he let Louis in and is sitting on the couch, so Louis takes it as an invitation to do the same. He puts the dome on his lap.

“I went to the North Pole.” Louis looks at the bears inside the glass, one bigger than the other. His dad really is a messed up bitch.

“Oh, umm. How was it?” Harry plays with his rings and avoids the look Louis is giving him.

“Chaotic,” Louis takes a deep breath. “He apologized, kind of.”

Harry just hums.

“My memories are inside this dome,” Louis puts it on the coffee table for Harry to see. “I, I haven’t opened it yet.” They both look at the decor. “I don’t want to do it if you don’t want me to.”

They look at each other and Louis can see his fears mirrored in Harry’s eyes. What if he opens the dome and he is able to remember it all but he doesn’t feel the same about Harry? What if he opens it and loves Harry more than anything in life only to find Harry has moved on? What if he opens it and nothing happens? Will it hurt?

“I want you to open it as long as you are sure about it.” Harry murmurs then.

“Okay.”

Louis' hands are sweating and the weight in his chest makes his fingers tremble. He puts both hands on the glass and gives Harry one more look before pulling the top off. Nothing happens. No grand Christmas magic, no shinny lights, no pain. Louis just feels hot on the inside. He puts the lid on the table and looks at Harry. He looks afraid and it is really just the same Harry, except he is not.

It’s the Harry that gave him almond cookies as a welcome gift when he first moved to the city, even when he didn’t live in the building himself. He’s the Harry that apologized for a month after the almond cookies cost Louis a trip to the hospital. The Harry he kissed under the mistletoe not last week but six years ago and Louis remembers how it tasted, what it felt looking into his eyes. The Harry his sisters made an ornament for when Louis told him who they were and what they could do and Harry didn’t run for the hills. The Harry that almost fell on his butt the first time he visited the North Pole. He’s the Harry Louis was ready to get on one knee for before all this happened.

It must show in Louis' face, there’s no way Harry doesn’t know Louis is drowning in love for him, because Harry is crying now. Louis closes the distance between them and cups his face.

“Oh, darling.”

Harry lets out a sob at the pet name and they hold each other close. Louis never wants to let go of him again.

**Author's Note:**

> if you enjoyed it please consider reblogging [the tumblr post for it :)](https://1dchristmasfest.tumblr.com/post/189705594259/if-we-can-make-it-through-december-by-march-z5)  
> Happy holidays!


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